the snowbound heart


 you are my honey chain




he sighed

drew his own breath inward,

as leaves he would fall to sediment me

scattering rust defeated blooms,

and the body would, like a ship without a hull

be lost

whilst he, the sky, arched me,

his sea



outwards came the seduced breeze

his exhale released, gossamer maelstroms

thru’ me



chime did skin beneath the voltage din

perfect floor of flowers gleam glassy dew

sighs a stick of nectar inside fallow you

hand imprints unfurl senses strewn



his eyes explicit blues

i like stranded branch upon isolated

willow, and he the river from which

i thirst on, you and entwine leaf mad ivy limbs

ignoring venus and other disappointing statues

you the wish and i

underneath it’s promise



beneath violet veils and sliding moonbeam stairs

we kissed until our hearts

rang ragged pealing bells within gazed minds,

and from that warming sexual shade

finite ooze pearls cascade

such small hands, such tiny roots grew,

i loved you




wept



fleeting, would stride

thru’ moonbeam shaken dreaming

rendering slender body churning sleep

snowbound relentless season



sometimes would a babbling brook

splash cold wet knots upon hands, face and neck,

sometimes exhaling would rush to be with her

blowing petals onto hair, his stale leaves billow

touching thick slumber



sunrise would beckon

fleeing ingot kisses, return he must thru’ out aching,

daybreak she wakes and flows among pillows

as if dreamland holds corpses for cherishing,

memories heirloom what had been seen,

his soft tears lie clothes

daydream to be near him



thru’ mist scented sculptures longing voice sailed

thru’ moon larder floor glimpse

tangled broken torsos, elderly stunted elms,

thru’ groping cloying weeds

and sharing whisper held reeds



a slender body paler

where his shadow fell

his shadow falls nowhere



into mazes,

stagnant ponds

and curdled lanes,

sluggish channels

and song rich ditches,

gulping frogs and

insect thronged arenas



stirs as he would have courted beside her

to places of lying and mottled grasses

wilted stems and thorny thru’ out caresses

this place of unreturnable echoes



unfold their noise, eyelid rapture,

and how she called his name

days on end her voice rang out

from daybreak until evening chorus called night time home



she knew she had lost him,

only when sleep presents it’s ethereal stage

and surreal firefly caught lanterns

would their kisses be met and touches meant



now that silence has focus, it laments

and gathered hills of repeating violets vanish,

the purpose of her heartbeat knows not it’s want

but only for him to replenish




marriage chase



quietly shapelessness to the floor watches the ink shadows seep

like liquefying bruise or blackest fungus creeps across

wooden flooring disapproving of light

tethering night to silent rib cage

emptiness hollow as a tube of marrowless bone

no echo has truly found it’s way home



stillness is the clock’s heartbeat, chimes two

chime four, then six this noose held neck

cannot succumb to sleep… only links in chains

of thought like a drowned dog floats then sinks

the dullest dream



what colours the edges reddish is bright lit pain

what is brightest he wishes would eclipse,

entire thought the man he truly pursued is vapour

real as fear in whatever he tries to think,

and when he reaches to feel what it feels like

to hold the one, the most he reaches

is redundant air, an heirloom of lonely



loneliest spaces have such distance



and dreamy violins are scratched into silence,

try listening to monotone dial tones

a voice resumes and renounces gloom

bringing sugar-seeped-bud-bursts thru’ into you

but the speaking clock never answers or performs love,

return yourself back under lifeless dreary swoon



why wait daydreaming layered skull?

the hourglass mobs itself back to sandy stillness,

daylight has the most infuriating smile,

“too many minds have a punctured sky”

morning bold with cold wet hinges

we stood across one another’s shadow

and made the crocuses melt, and crows

shook themselves off trees



tremulous maleness

intrudes first glowing

resurrection-seed-worthy,

so forest my blood with kisses

ingots of lightning arc drab into

wonderful animation, a piss of

purples and halogen star plodes

incoming dewdrop shelling



remember that hooded lane

where culprits of shadow grew

or that poppy blazed field

where flies nuisance themselves,

we fell amongst voltages

and blaze-eel-shimmer

multiplying one another’s honey

believing thirst knowing it was cursed



remember grey gossamer rain

cooling but the kiln fires still raged

edible-slime-whiteness

take each serpent as it came



so entwined, breath is not mine



even bluest most skies

have greyness beyond their lid,

scarce oxides bolder bother

embellishing autumn with death



like a taint of tongues



never recalled what disconnected

such heartbeats, what changed the song?

neutral days beige themselves

the shape of being felt wrong



slopes the sun backwards into gloom



hurtle car streams thru’ busiest veins

the breeze that toils there

gazes set to burn adolescent flame,

people swarms ignore the stared

thru’ pane



awaiting the door’s invitation

or the letter’s sensual scrawl

“i’ll be back soon to perform

lustre upon your bones”



chasing want thru’ out starved traces

chasing exists like sound that pursues itself

or toppled light within dark snuffs out



await each summer for breath to exert

it’s buds, to thaw the fleece of fingerprints,

paused momentum has a way of doing it’s kill



may as well wait for hell

to allocate a future cubicle

for me to reside forever in



cold sea, sparse heart




loveless numb fingerprints

all over

unkind tracing



into persuasion that minutes

are, for occupation, lifetimes

slowed down narration



episodic hurt tantrums like

ferocity, a ferocious squall

cranium constellation



strangers possess

sparse gazes for

no one



the sea is glass cold shale

a bay of cold-coming-at-you-knives

splinter shoulders into deeper coats



dusk almost and the winds have

shrieked voices, terrible vocals

sheath the horizon’s darkness



where the colourful bulbs firefly lit hang midair

dance, some shatter in the gale

shrapnel like broken crayons

with all the day’s happiness left there

remnants of children ghost

the night now exposed

and full of star seeping holes



feelings break upon the abandoned shore

from seahorse surf, collapse upon shingle

rushing their nondescript deaths

like those of us noose collared feel bereft



of the bough that’s failed

friendships shaken archived murder

suture iciness seems forevermore, endless as

heartache would stride paused tideless thinking



watching moon worthy swathes

an unloved body open for the seasons to rot

and the gulls to pacify their beaks, come to pluck

what undone moments years took to soar



loveless offers paleness, dead nutrition



relent not exile heart poisoner,

watch the curdle sky undo it’s cloud

“nothing is beauty”

for what projects perfection

is blissful liar-bastard-masks



sad hangs the lonelier man

mocked with shadows stretching

strolls the wintriest morning

pearl-dew-sucking, slow burning

offends the eyesore of his vision

grey landscapes utter it’s isolation

for those wishfulness with vanishing



last month the place where

his lover ran their tongue

the place now where no one would go

loveless is a space we all roam



it’s headless into distraction

into deep recipes of gin, sensory

demolition, tidemarks of numbness rise

like chloroformed nerves or pinched heartbeats



upon the morgue lengthened shore

the moon does not show her white spilt robe,

trodden on stones worn smooth fragments

by violence, by words, by air wielded wounds



thru’ him ice swept,

from the pier into sullen nowhere

against the slivers skinning against bones

walks from the sea’s untidiness, alone



loveless is a space we all roam




loved



what it was to reel so shudder dizzy

to swoon without sugar crisis,

in someone else’s trust, be cradled

there balancing upon nectar

wanting to fall so completely in



to drown amongst those muscles



like a child curled neat in womb

silver shrouded and quietly becoming strong,

felt stars collide, comets hurtle

like christmas's, like birthdays

a wonderment so mountable sighing



lurid sun breathes on

this world’s unnoticed spinning,

migratory swarms to offices

and cars lay siege to every map

still us exquisite exhale



or watching the sky rearrange



there’s memory in every knot

trying to lustre thru’ out rust and rot

but heads are bowed and silenced

addresses every awkward room,

rewards sadness with a tiny death



mind a scatter blast

eyesores beautifully trying,

there are remnants, persisting

fragments glow-tailed

rainbow stood yet damaged



loose limbs and sullen

sparsely glanced at,

lifetime ready to

curl, to crouch

to shut down tomorrow



my short distant sadist

several walls occur

like thorn arranged fences

stab at thoughts

as they try to settle



across honey discoloured bed

strewn photographs torn at

to their quiet atoms

their unhappiness



i’ve borrowed yesterday

to have the day lowered

to feel this low, thumb myself

thru’ pages of being down



there’s a turning jagged

beneath each rib,

and blood that forfeits

to warm itself



nowadays shadows fit well,

i’ve killed each clock

let time ruin

to feel this slow



glistened rinsed roses dwindle in gloom

ether broken in every room



whispers knowing naught of

themselves wind into winds

creaking every worn out hinge

turning pictures into

downloaded splinters



what promised, what should have,

what was, like sulked beds where

loneliness suffocates what was meant,

your prism-steep-river-rush caught

us throe and all



like an unattainable thirst

no deeper kiss could unravel mountains

it made you blood mine and in reverse

my clockwork pulse became yours



what it was to eclipse so sickly uneasy

to displace yourself not knowing why

in someone else’s betrayal

there balancing upon a well lit lie

wanting to commit to a hurting knife




painful





we half smile ghosts

and meander a child’s scared mind

afraid of what the dark might do

if left truly alone



we were wholeness

and inside each other’s mouth,

each breath between us, thru’ eyes as one

but feelings gone wrong



did something start to break?

sparse sunbeams blacken bleak,

wintry thumbs, suffocation

wanting everyone, everything erased



undo the sun

make night every home

“i want dissolving”,

bonds that bind become loose dust



a statue in a bed of frost

statues deepen into glass

take of your daily numbness

everywhere pointlessness



outskirts to closeness

nowhere else so full of holes,

in distances, eyesores

an apparition of closely dwelt thorns



cancel today’s casual blood

cancel every lung,

there’s warmer arctic

in colder places elsewhere



what was intact

began shudder

began to collapse,

imperfect people cracked



imagine what is twisting

and what turns tearing

has been torn daily

and resounds beyond aching



imagine what is hurting

where normality often slides,

imagine

touches unreconciled



agreeable panes persist the weather’s noise,

stared thru’ hours, shadow become floors

gloom fades spires unites completed bruises,

emptiness is an heir that could swallow entire skies



now is about disappearing

to fall under without forensic trace,

no breath prints remaining

but a dead clock in a dead space



cancel today,

i’m boxes boxed

about to fold,

icarus in an old nhs sling



stared thru’ months

disconnected mouth from certain

silences,

reprint myself



words belong to no one

all mine stiff unreadables

creased into awkward poems

glanced at by ignoring




frozen



winter’s coming

now that you’ve gone,

cold nests

and frozen blackbird young

waiting for a warmth

that will never come




alone




slow clocks assuming

life is over,

follow the autumn of your bones,

there is no bed deep enough

for the sleep i want,

bury him layer by sad uninterrupted layer



sunbeams drape

half closed worn eyes

“i am an island” he thought

“so remote”,

spun of undesirable atoms

where no one wants to admire



deeper beds to lie lonely in

shadow by risky shadow buries him

layer by ash linen layer,

“i am morgue silence”

where is the noise when quietly dead?

where is the opposition to loneliness?



all are peopled by frost

purpled by inseparable dusk,

some are wearers of winter

some are when gloom thickens most,

fashion-less scissors harm

at their loneliest centres



solitary

stares onto a garden

it’s trees all scuttled or blown,

leaves impatient skeletons

ruined bronzes floored or on gaunt hedges

surrounded by no one



quick wrists are too interrupted

every sigh ever buried

repeats a ghost to holler the hidden surface

would anyone in such stillness

notice?



people are presents waiting for their

hearts to be scathed open,

sometimes together, sometimes severed,

anyone can guillotine heaven

anyone can assume the bludgeoning weapon



in corners curdle

silk descending larders

beneath grope of spiders

feelings being discarded



shrouded by shelves

and tear woken strands

such dagger

have piercing hands



the burial of romances

a love note scrawled

with skeletal clothes



“here is a boxed body scratched open

for someone else to gather”

dandelion head blown

every thought gone

now which emptiness to rely upon?




sometime soon



before sun burns dullest black

before clandestine seed becomes sorted oak

before words idle lustful lie old

before the body cracks

soon



before night’s dream laden endeavour

before the world’s spin of once more

silver gilded nerves recite expectation

yield to soaring then absolute falling

this nectar residue of swooning



no gloaming can be by gathered gloom spoilt,

smiling unfolds the muscle’s rapturous adult

but demon stood whilst i sleep,

where semen stains the canvas

a man stares deadest of them all



before day has happened back to ashes

and truth reappears falseness,

snare me once more, blood and money follows,

sometimes lies are easier to recline their soft lidded deceits,

everywhere lukewarm and splinters stray window panes



i know of no one colder



unfortunate men

worthwhile rainbows never dwell long

colourfully gold sinful red burden reddens want

into fuckable yearning explicit free falling



why are men so see thru?

deep as a pane of glass

colourless colour persists

this lonely finger marked existence




downpour



clouds commence bleeding,

sullen england

like it is in here,

a poverty of children neglected

in pulled apart filthy playgrounds



there are

fields infected

with obscene spires

like it is in here



privately devil owned

like it is here



listen

smallest heartbeats

against the grim pane

like it is in here

vertical wetness sliding



clocks so wanting to unwind

to release themselves from bored time

like in here,

ghost of a sunbeam

want to pull it down



windows don’t want to be woken,

no weather sleeps

or is completely broken

but blood is distant tracks



absent of forward trains



this stare could

be any window

thru’ to anywhere,

but nowhere happens mostly



beyond steel occurrences

crooked men croak about

wither and crow cloaks withdrawing,

heartbeats never thawing



i glance their heartache

down lost lilac lanes,

some now are burials or

autumn-grimaced-shard worlds



frost guarded

between fragile words an

interlude of vestry silence,

a subdued cell city



a stood skyscraper blows away like torn paper

it’s gothic erased, replaced by a

salamanders’s curious head then completely

dissipating, how many dragons counted



is for fairy imagining



continues rain

continues sky annihilation

like it feels in here,

decimated



how can emptiness repeat?

hollows are successes

and will never refill,

vacuoles keep night entirely



thoughts beyond the half hinged gate

creaks when fingered by

bold enough breezes

a scarecrow half made



wind cut eyes and rainwater

startled holes no amount

of coat can cover

like the strewn held everywhere



the statue does not startle

but implies lifelessness

against the watched thru’ pane,

attendance is loneliness



we used to walk one

another’s glossy path,

mine of stubborn dusk

a glistening begun



yours a meander shimmering aftermath



where once sapphire cathedral

like glass beyond sullen cloud theatrics,

a restfulness sensual appealing, now

grey from floor to skyscraping ceiling



each rainfall burden

i follow your silver sliding

thru’ out so many different windows

the loneliest as i am



where has the gold

from the nearly fields gone?

where?




divorce




take summer, place it in winter

come collect the sun

dismantle every beam

cold handouts for everyone,

when drowning there is only under,

barely beds, a refusal of one another



incite the fallen apart swarm

for further separation,

hostile raids upon eyes

and dew falling,

a childhood vacancy

and ready made disintegration



three floors down gather

belongings like achieved rust,

one floor up

beheads the last photograph



cold chairs ready for splitting

divide uneven children

lungs for you

i’ll manage their sobbing bones



dust forms sad sculptures

a whisper’s unspoken screaming

a bayonet thru’ a wedding ring,

this room like other connected holes

affection for no ones



time turns older and archives renounce

their fading marital glow,

unravel

pages are people tearing

how does it feel to be this torn?


 

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