legacy
be still mimes the crooked jester
whilst juggling veils between eyes and mind,
sip of the opaque
and seep the stream's delirious flow
and glow
and glow
and glow
hot by night, blind by day
secretive prism light starts
to shadow play
first firefly then bright as moons
cupid spoons love down eager throats
it's thirst drives to plead more gulps
adoring always more
timely dripping glistens abdomen
till skin makes yearning sore
like a sewer made gold
tiring of pollution
kept sacred for a dream's
explicit
whitened crime
scene
honey lingers where the frozen melts,
at morning's first intruding
unclasps into unlawful resurrection
tempest stirs from cool curled sleep
and snakes until stems become sticks,
mile thru' out vein mileage
phosphorus dances occur
ablaze this side
the glistering brain
every heart creak
every constellation surge
each whim urges
denouncing the last
until the last one
resounds heaven to crack
you unfold from being closed
to full orchid open,
upon the back
each spray is caught
like clouded sparks
it's aspic fathom struck,
within colder frost
eyes watch
drownfuls faerie cascading
rose-worthy-blood,
my sight upon you
draped
silhouetted until we take shape
in arms to repeat dying,
oh butterfly ripped, caterpillar whim
insatiable feeling
tsunami brim
i am shrugged upon
a bayonet, upon a spider's fang,
is this the love i so deserve?
so much love it fills the body up
and lengthens like a stain,
no matter how much of a razor blade
it cannot be cut away
you under skin
time doesn't go
feelings never yield
they never die,
unquenchable fire
rages deep inside thirst
you within me
an unblemished crocus
i will burn brighter than the longest star
watching nearer then afar
close enough to sip
close enough to rip
wanting to be the words
first upon your lips
and when the sky becomes aching whips
and the shadows become jealous green
i shall brighter ignite
curdling explicit dreaming
you are so many sculptures
that landscape my head
you are keeled inside my flesh invitation
turning, seasons, time
i shall wait the longest sigh
never near to,
so cruel a crime
soon shall covet in skin, over bearing like rain
wanting to burden flowers with oceans
so much so, they drown
heal across scar
you under epithelium
neatly between bones and
muscle imprisoned
because i have demons
my soul is lit as candles
spun by god, hand painted in womb
my belly rich with demon
like a girl about to burst with worms
or a man's distended abdomen
i feel it kicking deeper chasms
coughing, sneezing, gouging, weeping
a gestation growing haven,
ceaseless, consuming
crouched beneath heart
or in tear duct
sprawled across black blood vessels
lounging in the currents of clean blood
dirtying the sediments with it's tongue
tonguing the brain
the meat that churns thought
enticing, inviting, suppressing, congesting,
friend then foe, cuddling then molesting,
it's eyes thru' my eyes
what pitiful deeds your sour vision sees
depravity, poverty, brutality,
believe in this dishonesty
i am what it thinks sometimes
a nerve desolate of feeling
what does skin feel?
it certainly isn't me
unborn children scream within me
pieces of shouted personality
shattering fragments
into the body that's not mine
it's pickling my dead born
for mind fucked keepsakes
my mind, sometimes
the weakness that befits the flaw
the hideous, the unclean, the insecure
the shackled man afraid to waltz without shadow,
thru' out a thousand faces no one sees
the changeling begin to shape it's own creation
another mask another name
the deserving crown of desperation
worn by the heir apparent to shame
you have kept me forbidden
i yearn revealing from this cave of darkened constellations
i spin the souls of devils
i spin their evil intent
i watch the world's flesh catch fire
with gleeful eloquence
the serial killer laughed
when asked
"why did you commit so heinous a crime?"
"because i have demons" he quietly spoke
as if his voice was not his own
the head is always open
to suggestion
to infiltration
and infestation
breathe
stale perfumes seep cupid's delirious burdened heart
inside, the deed, the bargain was struck
"breathe like the sea" he soothed
the ocean's suck will pebble smooth
your grey world thru' autopsy blue
dream like a dreamer should
and seep like the sun
your golden rays scorch across the back
to catch aflame the way we could
breathe one another
we sublime
in gossamer thighs
the spidering of intruding nights
in arms should we crack
slowing breath should we freeze
this furtive make believe
slower still until he grew
bigger sunshine
large as oceans
the highest sky
tall as spires
he the world
the entirety
the lie
shadow breath kept under
dead throated flutes
silenced for when sorrow is at it's most bruised
i shallow breathe our brittle rust
fearful that breath would break this fragile love
into a too familiar ghost
closer
skimming stones into the ocean's foaming
as if trying to push the body under groaning,
closer, the edge where the sea fails to breathe
the skin where it's splashing jewels never quite reach,
into it's deep, fathomless blue frieze
come swallow, drown me please
like driftwood floats upon swell
the embrace i wish would never end
these sighs from under water
hungry like infection
water wishes upon lips
from my bluest spiralling twist
into turquoise depth jade emerald green
the sapphire thru' which i breathe
mourning
"should be closer now than what might have been"
and there you lay adoring
in someone else's smile
unend
corpse crippled tree stiffened sea, pollution
slowly breathing lung disease, silent and crouching
this wilted eden dead desperate spire field,
the rusting car, sucked gate and pillaged pram
a choked orange pond
is all that violation can feel
like the doll afloat the stale surface
detached it's broke head from the rest
plastic and unloving, eyeless as social disinterest,
junk of the head litter strewn it's final beauty gone
the last unspoilt few inches dignified and calm
euthanasia grimaces suicide for it's end
under churning lead ink steep angered skies
seagull cartwheels and city reeling screeches
boys twisting hands into thirst
chattering idyllic men rattle vocal chains
as if heirlooms to past are well deserved
slow footsteps towards the teenage initialed park
peeling paint and soft creaks stretch
eager dew splashes feet
as i hoped i would splash over you
the icon, the unlikely god sat tilted
sprawling legs preening himself sensual,
closer, with each fortified breath, closer
almost touchable, close enough to forfeit embarrassment
screamed howls, saints
peel their antique robes and
awaken what's in the head
"think not of sin and evil intention
walk barefoot the thorns of righteous redemption"
unend, never stop nor wants paling
and act as distraction for the real fear that all are so afraid
flamingo still sat steadfast upon wood
unsteady in sexual residue
fingering splinters pretending they're hair
counting seconds waiting for invitation
if only i could
i would be eyeing all that is beauty
and feeling how much greater easy sunshine stabs thru',
but cutting cuts us in two
further apart into lonely isolation, a precipice of bruises
he sighs and watches feet upon the ground
the very grass where i now stand,
daydreams break to the first gushing tear
the heavens gape open in here
washing the sky clean
noise stifled trees offer respite
alders, ash shaded corners abound with night,
chasing dogs bark sodden by quick wet voltages
rain spreading mercury empires
tattooing drops across leaves and sprawling
dirty diamonds onto mud floors
he waits under leaf rich balconies
patient for the end to be
thunder reaches
tenor zenith
raucous trains gleam
windows guillotine flashing
and the snake from each pocket glides,
the roaring metropolis overwhelms
with it's mausoleum smoke and concrete foes
he small, insignificant by comparison
one shadow, one person stands lone
waiting for each ending to come
waiting for perfection this ugly afternoon
a smile to burst the gloom's mind
to make this all so worthwhile,
footsteps walk near
come take me here
and push your mouth into mine
the figure oblivious
too beautiful to stare
i wish you disposable
i'd throw you away!
am i invisible?
did you not notice my eyes
all fire tongues and sheer wanting sparks
glancing off each burning eyelid?
i could have been that leaf fallen at your feet
would you even acknowledge me there sprawled
already yours
an angel reopen for you to make bleed
rejects crawl as dusk falls
veils for the hideous to hide,
unend wanton possession, stinging
forcing it's sticky body in, trembling
drenched with the fly stained sweat kindling brings
this world of his, prettier if this love did not exist
from soft dialogues and interference
hungered streets, the skin that everybody wants
but never rents
harsh glares barb wire expressions,
traffic pumps frustration
the graffiti upon someone's sneer,
the pickpocket stealing mended hearts
to make visible their sores
we only spiral into each other's deliberate pain
unending,
those who are strong and defiant will their muscles on,
those who are less sink the pavement cracks
with no trace or evidence of ever being kissed
it's time to die, to un-kinder, to un-flicker
to wrench apart what clasping made us whole,
now is neither the moment
to reason, ponder or ask why?
time to touch the sun
time to relinquish all that was bound
un-entwine , unravel, unwind,
into darkness softer than petals
spill a lifetime
beautiful for hurt
neon lit harshness and alien smudged
against disinterested kite shaped skies
bleak as a miser's spendthrift heart,
cold uneven splash grey intrudes, stained
like morning unwelcome into a drunkard's bloodshot eyes
cancerous light coughed from chimney blackened throats
shimmer unwanted life thru' cracks in moth chewed rooms
like dowdy fireflies in dead circles swoon
he sits hunched and shoulders over into gloom
sort of pearl eyed and impatient for his belly to burst
stares first to the ceiling then swims his vision aimless
to the floor, the carpet where butterflies blurred
and his mouth wished
and where they rolled and pushed and drank until their thirst,
moon squeezed potions smell of angelic cuts persist
majestic skin un-denying senses began to curve
in all out stickiness
and rose like stirred waves dashing inwards
to drown him
wafts within brittle breezes and finally
succumbs to it's overwhelming
he hits his face to be this awake
to be lucid enough to gush fragrant stars,
a bridge of pearls sways upon every gleam
stretching like a ghostly frozen finger from him
into his petal infused heart
inside aching and suddenly broken
slowly rots buts always to it's breath edge
walk where razors want you to fall
forgotten and timeless
one more step into ghost flesh
one more step to be frozen
sprawled, thorned upon that very floor
he now soberly stares upon,
clock grimacing interferes both solitude and unerring silence
he had soared his furious senses, dived like
out of control kites, and there like twisting things twist
made moan of limbs
wiped moonbeams from the brow
only to ignite,
and crooned like frogs inspired from a thousand
ripe swamps, such cries eclipse cricket hum,
spellbound and so resounding choked with holes
"i am more than open"
"i am awaiting the forest's dewdrop fire"
"too beautiful to make words known from their
burials"
"i am opened by dishonesty and
well oiled hurt"
let your roots bury their slender occasion
in me deeply so their poison factories pollute
the sound silence excruciating
like a heart well nailed
it's emptiness fills the entire room
of disused fingerprints
he it's hollowest place
hopelessness swarms
and into a light bulb glare
cries beautifully slain
but there is no one to hear
bag of webs
i know not what i want
i so much want to be something
i never know what
or how much further should i think into thought,
to be this, to be that
to be her or him, a dress, a bag of webs
a suit of disowned flesh
i yearn and yearn, and inside this craving
i neither become someone or anything,
my everything is complete un-happening
lips spilt spent words
begging to be touched, or hit or sucked
blow upon the eyelid fasteners sewn with dust
and away with these years caress,
and thru' grey hanging listless limbo
slide from my face to hide disguises
to show what i could have been
so transparent so see thru' yet eclipsed
do you see into me trickery, treachery, dishonesty?
i have become silent made storms and dreadful skin
shivering into pieces if you said no,
piece them together, make of me what you will,
closer chills ripple like someone's frozen fingers
or needles or cold restraining clothes,
i search and search and finally find
the reasons why i've shown myself open
there and everywhere the scars love shimmers
it coalesces hurt
i could stupefy and stupidly love to feel more
for more is what i need is want, the need is more
than anything is what i shall become
old in the cracks and creaks of shuttered lenses
he'll turn away disgusted,
i always blink shut when too closely touched, we once
glowed, do you picture the pictures that i starred in
upon the screens of skin?
i flew into your hopeless heart and made it mine, i pinned wishes
upon reappearing bruises
not once we sublimed or froze the the bud mid bloom
you never do see do you?
i displayed my thoughts upon my face
for you to reflect, but all now is frantic cobwebs,
i've cried my only tears for you to collect
should i and you be what should have been
i always hope, and it leaves me sickened
and senseless, reeling stupid and more sickly bright-lit-dazed,
i spin and spin and when i've spun your body upon mine
i kiss and kiss , and when kissed i lick and pull and
drink, hungrily to eat it's hurt, it pulls us
from each other's arms, unties precious moments we made
in your thighs, and loosens them into shards,
and when the last click of mind runs cold, i alone upon the
floor twitch and try to reel back opaque uneasy films to
re-enact all that might have been
the sky be brightest over the mind's chameleon architecture
twisting so hard to be this upright,
each thread woven is to tangle
whatever dream i think you in
to rediscover the many ways to bag another web
oh thread of my entire thought
you'll never unravel
drug
i only smile when it's time to pierce into
someone else's strangest kiss, i only try
when the heat is warmest, and once in
your veins enlarge my lips, the rushing
joyous surging blood quenches neither
love nor this dry thirst, red in it's soft tar it
creaks my eager joints to quickly push,
and push, and push, i burst thru' eyes
and lick your sticky tears, why do you
cry vertical rainfall inside? and quietly like
tearing i smile, it's time to break apart,
enough of this sad taste, enough of
this heart, i feel sick of your drug,
i climb out and hit the sky until
i again smile, i feel it's grin, welling
like eager clowns, thorns upon their hands
here i spiral and roller coaster down
into another jaded jerked friend
until you gently cry like unresolved rain
still i crave until i finally break
all shattered fragments
i eat pieces and push your fleshy
bones into my head, the belly purrs
upon legs and leather like flesh,
upon my insides feel you stir
your fingers, your nails point until
hurt imprints upon nerves,
it's time i ate that brilliant smile
and snuff out the un-worthwhile
gorgeous mire, it's taint and stuck on stain
the stain i remember you by,
bitter rhythms and
drowsy drugged heads urge on
and on and on, it's time to
re-smile again
a nightshade promise
what dark is mine
and where the black season sprawls
your dead mind
shall be winter mine
what is grey
shall shadow turn
into the everlasting embrace
the cracked hidden face
and the smile of smoke
i beguiled
in fallow emptiest field
frail twisted love reeled
hollow upon it's tear filled trenches
scared that it's fingers will let go
and the scarecrow of autumn's mourn
grins ghastly reaper guillotine teeth,
and it's bramble hands long to hold
whatever it cannot feel to be it's own
what is failing, fading shallow breathing
shall eventually tumble south
silenced by swallows, and from
it's mouth gushed red
his kiss does slip over us
i in chilled quiet bury you
in see thru' leaves
a tiny thousand eloquent skeletons
emblems that herald autumn's end
i do not feel he coo's
i never will love you,
and within dusk
tears make their shapes known
like sharp internal swords
what was held falls
and what we have become
impossible
i midnight kiss nettle stings
and in it's painful promise
lies across honey less
a frost eclipsed
upon deep blue'd pools i long
to float on and on
and here we stand on fragments
of broken wings
thru' eyes so butterfly brittle
stared sadness thru'
the slow hours i do watch
their amber burn
quietly raining, silence returns
what is dark shall undoubtedly be mine
come drink my edgeless sighs
come and sleep within my tireless flesh
sunbeams fail when night is roused,
in empty daffodil copse
i am dead again
waiting for you my long slender thorn
to have me impaled upon
shine
were it not for words how would your grey mouth convey the wealth of love i know you keep
in brooding coffers below that half dusk of a smile? would you with fingers talk and meander
with masculine intimacy, or wait awhile, one thousand sighs until our eyes catch alight? the
dawning flames lick the roof of god, his earthly spins on disembodied axis, our bodies always
held close, you and i under watchful repeating suns, shine golden in each other's blazing eyes
you my world, i'll stand the darkest edge of the fearful universe, or lonely be in darkest
abyss, to know the other side of blackest morrow you'll be there arms outstretched grasping
me hold brighter in the bleakest day when man rots the world into lazy decay, we shine, so
unlike the bruises gashed into the satellite crowded sky, more than heaven or indeed hell i
would take you by these hands and throw us over into horizon's calm, were it not for life that
babbles along youthful streams or thru' sibling trees, our veins hot with breathing, i would
un-open windows that see us both unclothed and next to the ground, could we ever forsake
shimmering mirroring us whole fractures and all, never to be parted, and when night creeps
stealth ghost giving spiders the cloth of the world is spilt into unseeing boxes, the light i
know shines never diminishes, should we depart from one another i dare not think, and tho'
the fickle may rule the head, the heart is boundless uncontrollable fields drunk upon wine
and blood giving ruby pumps, we slip the still waters oblivious, and when the weary finally
sink up to their eyes, and when the addict's filthy veins cry out for love, when the old and
dead dwellers become dust blown by cobalt social winds, and the divorced pluck each other's
souls clean, when hate is kept proud loosing all it's demons for those to command,
unfortunate clouds gather like ill fitted fashions, wear your sickness high and loud, do we
peer to where spires are immersed in blue? do we share each saint's clean gleaming purified
blood or this cobweb kingdom that boasts disintegration? do we eat the body we worship? do
we defile nature's own virus? do we perpetrate the spawn that grotesques beauty? we lie
with foul monsters grey wombs did churn and make, and from that void we did first rape,
and from that blackened orifice a galaxy sharpened with constellations, we stare forever
searching the shadows for home, where are you now when i yearn most? i shine, for how
long? neither heart denying mind cares to know