you are my honey chain

he sighed
drew his own breath inward,
as leaves he would fall to sediment me
scattering rust defeated blooms,
and the body would, like a ship without a hull
be lost
whilst he, the sky, arched me,
his sea
outwards came the seduced breeze
his exhale released, gossamer maelstroms
thru’ me
chime did skin beneath the voltage din
perfect floor of flowers gleam glassy dew
sighs a stick of nectar inside fallow you
hand imprints unfurl senses strewn
his eyes explicit blues
i like stranded branch upon isolated
willow, and he the river from which
i thirst on, you and entwine leaf mad ivy limbs
ignoring venus and other disappointing statues
you the wish and i
underneath it’s promise
beneath violet veils and sliding moonbeam stairs
we kissed until our hearts
rang ragged pealing bells within gazed minds,
and from that warming sexual shade
finite ooze pearls cascade
such small hands, such tiny roots grew,
i loved you
wept

fleeting, would stride
thru’ moonbeam shaken dreaming
rendering slender body churning sleep
snowbound relentless season
sometimes would a babbling brook
splash cold wet knots upon hands, face and neck,
sometimes exhaling would rush to be with her
blowing petals onto hair, his stale leaves billow
touching thick slumber
sunrise would beckon
fleeing ingot kisses, return he must thru’ out aching,
daybreak she wakes and flows among pillows
as if dreamland holds corpses for cherishing,
memories heirloom what had been seen,
his soft tears lie clothes
daydream to be near him
thru’ mist scented sculptures longing voice sailed
thru’ moon larder floor glimpse
tangled broken torsos, elderly stunted elms,
thru’ groping cloying weeds
and sharing whisper held reeds
a slender body paler
where his shadow fell
his shadow falls nowhere
into mazes,
stagnant ponds
and curdled lanes,
sluggish channels
and song rich ditches,
gulping frogs and
insect thronged arenas
stirs as he would have courted beside her
to places of lying and mottled grasses
wilted stems and thorny thru’ out caresses
this place of unreturnable echoes
unfold their noise, eyelid rapture,
and how she called his name
days on end her voice rang out
from daybreak until evening chorus called night time home
she knew she had lost him,
only when sleep presents it’s ethereal stage
and surreal firefly caught lanterns
would their kisses be met and touches meant
now that silence has focus, it laments
and gathered hills of repeating violets vanish,
the purpose of her heartbeat knows not it’s want
but only for him to replenish
marriage chase
quietly shapelessness to the floor watches the ink shadows seep
like liquefying bruise or blackest fungus creeps across
wooden flooring disapproving of light
tethering night to silent rib cage
emptiness hollow as a tube of marrowless bone
no echo has truly found it’s way home
stillness is the clock’s heartbeat, chimes two
chime four, then six this noose held neck
cannot succumb to sleep… only links in chains
of thought like a drowned dog floats then sinks
the dullest dream
what colours the edges reddish is bright lit pain
what is brightest he wishes would eclipse,
entire thought the man he truly pursued is vapour
real as fear in whatever he tries to think,
and when he reaches to feel what it feels like
to hold the one, the most he reaches
is redundant air, an heirloom of lonely
loneliest spaces have such distance
and dreamy violins are scratched into silence,
try listening to monotone dial tones
a voice resumes and renounces gloom
bringing sugar-seeped-bud-bursts thru’ into you
but the speaking clock never answers or performs love,
return yourself back under lifeless dreary swoon
why wait daydreaming layered skull?
the hourglass mobs itself back to sandy stillness,
daylight has the most infuriating smile,
“too many minds have a punctured sky”
morning bold with cold wet hinges
we stood across one another’s shadow
and made the crocuses melt, and crows
shook themselves off trees
tremulous maleness
intrudes first glowing
resurrection-seed-worthy,
so forest my blood with kisses
ingots of lightning arc drab into
wonderful animation, a piss of
purples and halogen star plodes
incoming dewdrop shelling
remember that hooded lane
where culprits of shadow grew
or that poppy blazed field
where flies nuisance themselves,
we fell amongst voltages
and blaze-eel-shimmer
multiplying one another’s honey
believing thirst knowing it was cursed
remember grey gossamer rain
cooling but the kiln fires still raged
edible-slime-whiteness
take each serpent as it came
so entwined, breath is not mine
even bluest most skies
have greyness beyond their lid,
scarce oxides bolder bother
embellishing autumn with death
like a taint of tongues
never recalled what disconnected
such heartbeats, what changed the song?
neutral days beige themselves
the shape of being felt wrong
slopes the sun backwards into gloom
hurtle car streams thru’ busiest veins
the breeze that toils there
gazes set to burn adolescent flame,
people swarms ignore the stared
thru’ pane
awaiting the door’s invitation
or the letter’s sensual scrawl
“i’ll be back soon to perform
lustre upon your bones”
chasing want thru’ out starved traces
chasing exists like sound that pursues itself
or toppled light within dark snuffs out
await each summer for breath to exert
it’s buds, to thaw the fleece of fingerprints,
paused momentum has a way of doing it’s kill
may as well wait for hell
to allocate a future cubicle
for me to reside forever in
cold sea, sparse heart

loveless numb fingerprints
all over
unkind tracing
into persuasion that minutes
are, for occupation, lifetimes
slowed down narration
episodic hurt tantrums like
ferocity, a ferocious squall
cranium constellation
strangers possess
sparse gazes for
no one
the sea is glass cold shale
a bay of cold-coming-at-you-knives
splinter shoulders into deeper coats
dusk almost and the winds have
shrieked voices, terrible vocals
sheath the horizon’s darkness
where the colourful bulbs firefly lit hang midair
dance, some shatter in the gale
shrapnel like broken crayons
with all the day’s happiness left there
remnants of children ghost
the night now exposed
and full of star seeping holes
feelings break upon the abandoned shore
from seahorse surf, collapse upon shingle
rushing their nondescript deaths
like those of us noose collared feel bereft
of the bough that’s failed
friendships shaken archived murder
suture iciness seems forevermore, endless as
heartache would stride paused tideless thinking
watching moon worthy swathes
an unloved body open for the seasons to rot
and the gulls to pacify their beaks, come to pluck
what undone moments years took to soar
loveless offers paleness, dead nutrition
relent not exile heart poisoner,
watch the curdle sky undo it’s cloud
“nothing is beauty”
for what projects perfection
is blissful liar-bastard-masks
sad hangs the lonelier man
mocked with shadows stretching
strolls the wintriest morning
pearl-dew-sucking, slow burning
offends the eyesore of his vision
grey landscapes utter it’s isolation
for those wishfulness with vanishing
last month the place where
his lover ran their tongue
the place now where no one would go
loveless is a space we all roam
it’s headless into distraction
into deep recipes of gin, sensory
demolition, tidemarks of numbness rise
like chloroformed nerves or pinched heartbeats
upon the morgue lengthened shore
the moon does not show her white spilt robe,
trodden on stones worn smooth fragments
by violence, by words, by air wielded wounds
thru’ him ice swept,
from the pier into sullen nowhere
against the slivers skinning against bones
walks from the sea’s untidiness, alone
loveless is a space we all roam
loved
what it was to reel so shudder dizzy
to swoon without sugar crisis,
in someone else’s trust, be cradled
there balancing upon nectar
wanting to fall so completely in
to drown amongst those muscles
like a child curled neat in womb
silver shrouded and quietly becoming strong,
felt stars collide, comets hurtle
like christmas's, like birthdays
a wonderment so mountable sighing
lurid sun breathes on
this world’s unnoticed spinning,
migratory swarms to offices
and cars lay siege to every map
still us exquisite exhale
or watching the sky rearrange
there’s memory in every knot
trying to lustre thru’ out rust and rot
but heads are bowed and silenced
addresses every awkward room,
rewards sadness with a tiny death
mind a scatter blast
eyesores beautifully trying,
there are remnants, persisting
fragments glow-tailed
rainbow stood yet damaged
loose limbs and sullen
sparsely glanced at,
lifetime ready to
curl, to crouch
to shut down tomorrow
my short distant sadist
several walls occur
like thorn arranged fences
stab at thoughts
as they try to settle
across honey discoloured bed
strewn photographs torn at
to their quiet atoms
their unhappiness
i’ve borrowed yesterday
to have the day lowered
to feel this low, thumb myself
thru’ pages of being down
there’s a turning jagged
beneath each rib,
and blood that forfeits
to warm itself
nowadays shadows fit well,
i’ve killed each clock
let time ruin
to feel this slow
glistened rinsed roses dwindle in gloom
ether broken in every room
whispers knowing naught of
themselves wind into winds
creaking every worn out hinge
turning pictures into
downloaded splinters
what promised, what should have,
what was, like sulked beds where
loneliness suffocates what was meant,
your prism-steep-river-rush caught
us throe and all
like an unattainable thirst
no deeper kiss could unravel mountains
it made you blood mine and in reverse
my clockwork pulse became yours
what it was to eclipse so sickly uneasy
to displace yourself not knowing why
in someone else’s betrayal
there balancing upon a well lit lie
wanting to commit to a hurting knife
painful

we half smile ghosts
and meander a child’s scared mind
afraid of what the dark might do
if left truly alone
we were wholeness
and inside each other’s mouth,
each breath between us, thru’ eyes as one
but feelings gone wrong
did something start to break?
sparse sunbeams blacken bleak,
wintry thumbs, suffocation
wanting everyone, everything erased
undo the sun
make night every home
“i want dissolving”,
bonds that bind become loose dust
a statue in a bed of frost
statues deepen into glass
take of your daily numbness
everywhere pointlessness
outskirts to closeness
nowhere else so full of holes,
in distances, eyesores
an apparition of closely dwelt thorns
cancel today’s casual blood
cancel every lung,
there’s warmer arctic
in colder places elsewhere
what was intact
began shudder
began to collapse,
imperfect people cracked
imagine what is twisting
and what turns tearing
has been torn daily
and resounds beyond aching
imagine what is hurting
where normality often slides,
imagine
touches unreconciled
agreeable panes persist the weather’s noise,
stared thru’ hours, shadow become floors
gloom fades spires unites completed bruises,
emptiness is an heir that could swallow entire skies
now is about disappearing
to fall under without forensic trace,
no breath prints remaining
but a dead clock in a dead space
cancel today,
i’m boxes boxed
about to fold,
icarus in an old nhs sling
stared thru’ months
disconnected mouth from certain
silences,
reprint myself
words belong to no one
all mine stiff unreadables
creased into awkward poems
glanced at by ignoring
frozen
winter’s coming
now that you’ve gone,
cold nests
and frozen blackbird young
waiting for a warmth
that will never come
alone
slow clocks assuming
life is over,
follow the autumn of your bones,
there is no bed deep enough
for the sleep i want,
bury him layer by sad uninterrupted layer
sunbeams drape
half closed worn eyes
“i am an island” he thought
“so remote”,
spun of undesirable atoms
where no one wants to admire
deeper beds to lie lonely in
shadow by risky shadow buries him
layer by ash linen layer,
“i am morgue silence”
where is the noise when quietly dead?
where is the opposition to loneliness?
all are peopled by frost
purpled by inseparable dusk,
some are wearers of winter
some are when gloom thickens most,
fashion-less scissors harm
at their loneliest centres
solitary
stares onto a garden
it’s trees all scuttled or blown,
leaves impatient skeletons
ruined bronzes floored or on gaunt hedges
surrounded by no one
quick wrists are too interrupted
every sigh ever buried
repeats a ghost to holler the hidden surface
would anyone in such stillness
notice?
people are presents waiting for their
hearts to be scathed open,
sometimes together, sometimes severed,
anyone can guillotine heaven
anyone can assume the bludgeoning weapon
in corners curdle
silk descending larders
beneath grope of spiders
feelings being discarded
shrouded by shelves
and tear woken strands
such dagger
have piercing hands
the burial of romances
a love note scrawled
with skeletal clothes
“here is a boxed body scratched open
for someone else to gather”
dandelion head blown
every thought gone
now which emptiness to rely upon?
sometime soon
before sun burns dullest black
before clandestine seed becomes sorted oak
before words idle lustful lie old
before the body cracks
soon
before night’s dream laden endeavour
before the world’s spin of once more
silver gilded nerves recite expectation
yield to soaring then absolute falling
this nectar residue of swooning
no gloaming can be by gathered gloom spoilt,
smiling unfolds the muscle’s rapturous adult
but demon stood whilst i sleep,
where semen stains the canvas
a man stares deadest of them all
before day has happened back to ashes
and truth reappears falseness,
snare me once more, blood and money follows,
sometimes lies are easier to recline their soft lidded deceits,
everywhere lukewarm and splinters stray window panes
i know of no one colder
unfortunate men
worthwhile rainbows never dwell long
colourfully gold sinful red burden reddens want
into fuckable yearning explicit free falling
why are men so see thru?
deep as a pane of glass
colourless colour persists
this lonely finger marked existence
downpour
clouds commence bleeding,
sullen england
like it is in here,
a poverty of children neglected
in pulled apart filthy playgrounds
there are
fields infected
with obscene spires
like it is in here
privately devil owned
like it is here
listen
smallest heartbeats
against the grim pane
like it is in here
vertical wetness sliding
clocks so wanting to unwind
to release themselves from bored time
like in here,
ghost of a sunbeam
want to pull it down
windows don’t want to be woken,
no weather sleeps
or is completely broken
but blood is distant tracks
absent of forward trains
this stare could
be any window
thru’ to anywhere,
but nowhere happens mostly
beyond steel occurrences
crooked men croak about
wither and crow cloaks withdrawing,
heartbeats never thawing
i glance their heartache
down lost lilac lanes,
some now are burials or
autumn-grimaced-shard worlds
frost guarded
between fragile words an
interlude of vestry silence,
a subdued cell city
a stood skyscraper blows away like torn paper
it’s gothic erased, replaced by a
salamanders’s curious head then completely
dissipating, how many dragons counted
is for fairy imagining
continues rain
continues sky annihilation
like it feels in here,
decimated
how can emptiness repeat?
hollows are successes
and will never refill,
vacuoles keep night entirely
thoughts beyond the half hinged gate
creaks when fingered by
bold enough breezes
a scarecrow half made
wind cut eyes and rainwater
startled holes no amount
of coat can cover
like the strewn held everywhere
the statue does not startle
but implies lifelessness
against the watched thru’ pane,
attendance is loneliness
we used to walk one
another’s glossy path,
mine of stubborn dusk
a glistening begun
yours a meander shimmering aftermath
where once sapphire cathedral
like glass beyond sullen cloud theatrics,
a restfulness sensual appealing, now
grey from floor to skyscraping ceiling
each rainfall burden
i follow your silver sliding
thru’ out so many different windows
the loneliest as i am
where has the gold
from the nearly fields gone?
where?
divorce
take summer, place it in winter
come collect the sun
dismantle every beam
cold handouts for everyone,
when drowning there is only under,
barely beds, a refusal of one another
incite the fallen apart swarm
for further separation,
hostile raids upon eyes
and dew falling,
a childhood vacancy
and ready made disintegration
three floors down gather
belongings like achieved rust,
one floor up
beheads the last photograph
cold chairs ready for splitting
divide uneven children
lungs for you
i’ll manage their sobbing bones
dust forms sad sculptures
a whisper’s unspoken screaming
a bayonet thru’ a wedding ring,
this room like other connected holes
affection for no ones
time turns older and archives renounce
their fading marital glow,
unravel
pages are people tearing
how does it feel to be this torn?