because i have demons

 

legacy




be still mimes the crooked jester

whilst juggling veils between eyes and mind,

sip of the opaque

and seep the stream's delirious flow



and glow

and glow

and glow



hot by night, blind by day

secretive prism light starts

to shadow play



first firefly then bright as moons

cupid spoons love down eager throats

it's thirst drives to plead more gulps

adoring always more



timely dripping glistens abdomen

till skin makes yearning sore

like a sewer made gold

tiring of pollution



kept sacred for a dream's

explicit

whitened crime

scene



honey lingers where the frozen melts,

at morning's first intruding

unclasps into unlawful resurrection



tempest stirs from cool curled sleep

and snakes until stems become sticks,

mile thru' out vein mileage

phosphorus dances occur



ablaze this side

the glistering brain

every heart creak

every constellation surge



each whim urges

denouncing the last

until the last one

resounds heaven to crack



you unfold from being closed

to full orchid open,

upon the back

each spray is caught



like clouded sparks

it's aspic fathom struck,

within colder frost

eyes watch



drownfuls faerie cascading

rose-worthy-blood,

my sight upon you

draped



silhouetted until we take shape



in arms to repeat dying,

oh butterfly ripped, caterpillar whim

insatiable feeling

tsunami brim



i am shrugged upon

a bayonet, upon a spider's fang,

is this the love i so deserve?



so much love it fills the body up

and lengthens like a stain,

no matter how much of a razor blade

it cannot be cut away



you under skin




time doesn't go

feelings never yield

they never die,

unquenchable fire

rages deep inside thirst

you within me

an unblemished crocus



i will burn brighter than the longest star

watching nearer then afar

close enough to sip

close enough to rip

wanting to be the words

first upon your lips



and when the sky becomes aching whips

and the shadows become jealous green

i shall brighter ignite

curdling explicit dreaming



you are so many sculptures

that landscape my head

you are keeled inside my flesh invitation



turning, seasons, time

i shall wait the longest sigh

never near to,

so cruel a crime



soon shall covet in skin, over bearing like rain

wanting to burden flowers with oceans

so much so, they drown



heal across scar

you under epithelium

neatly between bones and

muscle imprisoned



because i have demons




my soul is lit as candles

spun by god, hand painted in womb



my belly rich with demon

like a girl about to burst with worms

or a man's distended abdomen

i feel it kicking deeper chasms



coughing, sneezing, gouging, weeping

a gestation growing haven,

ceaseless, consuming

crouched beneath heart

or in tear duct

sprawled across black blood vessels

lounging in the currents of clean blood

dirtying the sediments with it's tongue

tonguing the brain

the meat that churns thought



enticing, inviting, suppressing, congesting,

friend then foe, cuddling then molesting,

it's eyes thru' my eyes

what pitiful deeds your sour vision sees

depravity, poverty, brutality,

believe in this dishonesty



i am what it thinks sometimes

a nerve desolate of feeling

what does skin feel?

it certainly isn't me



unborn children scream within me

pieces of shouted personality

shattering fragments

into the body that's not mine

it's pickling my dead born

for mind fucked keepsakes



my mind, sometimes

the weakness that befits the flaw

the hideous, the unclean, the insecure

the shackled man afraid to waltz without shadow,

thru' out a thousand faces no one sees

the changeling begin to shape it's own creation



another mask another name

the deserving crown of desperation

worn by the heir apparent to shame

you have kept me forbidden

i yearn revealing from this cave of darkened constellations



i spin the souls of devils

i spin their evil intent

i watch the world's flesh catch fire

with gleeful eloquence



the serial killer laughed

when asked

"why did you commit so heinous a crime?"

"because i have demons" he quietly spoke

as if his voice was not his own



the head is always open

to suggestion

to infiltration

and infestation



breathe




stale perfumes seep cupid's delirious burdened heart

inside, the deed, the bargain was struck



"breathe like the sea" he soothed

the ocean's suck will pebble smooth

your grey world thru' autopsy blue



dream like a dreamer should

and seep like the sun

your golden rays scorch across the back

to catch aflame the way we could



breathe one another

we sublime

in gossamer thighs

the spidering of intruding nights



in arms should we crack

slowing breath should we freeze

this furtive make believe



slower still until he grew

bigger sunshine

large as oceans

the highest sky

tall as spires

he the world

the entirety

the lie



shadow breath kept under

dead throated flutes

silenced for when sorrow is at it's most bruised



i shallow breathe our brittle rust

fearful that breath would break this fragile love

into a too familiar ghost



closer




skimming stones into the ocean's foaming

as if trying to push the body under groaning,

closer, the edge where the sea fails to breathe

the skin where it's splashing jewels never quite reach,

into it's deep, fathomless blue frieze

come swallow, drown me please



like driftwood floats upon swell

the embrace i wish would never end



these sighs from under water

hungry like infection



water wishes upon lips

from my bluest spiralling twist



into turquoise depth jade emerald green

the sapphire thru' which i breathe

mourning



"should be closer now than what might have been"



and there you lay adoring

in someone else's smile



unend




corpse crippled tree stiffened sea, pollution

slowly breathing lung disease, silent and crouching

this wilted eden dead desperate spire field,

the rusting car, sucked gate and pillaged pram

a choked orange pond

is all that violation can feel

like the doll afloat the stale surface

detached it's broke head from the rest

plastic and unloving, eyeless as social disinterest,

junk of the head litter strewn it's final beauty gone

the last unspoilt few inches dignified and calm

euthanasia grimaces suicide for it's end



under churning lead ink steep angered skies

seagull cartwheels and city reeling screeches

boys twisting hands into thirst

chattering idyllic men rattle vocal chains

as if heirlooms to past are well deserved



slow footsteps towards the teenage initialed park

peeling paint and soft creaks stretch

eager dew splashes feet

as i hoped i would splash over you



the icon, the unlikely god sat tilted

sprawling legs preening himself sensual,

closer, with each fortified breath, closer

almost touchable, close enough to forfeit embarrassment



screamed howls, saints

peel their antique robes and

awaken what's in the head

"think not of sin and evil intention

walk barefoot the thorns of righteous redemption"

unend, never stop nor wants paling

and act as distraction for the real fear that all are so afraid



flamingo still sat steadfast upon wood

unsteady in sexual residue

fingering splinters pretending they're hair

counting seconds waiting for invitation



if only i could

i would be eyeing all that is beauty

and feeling how much greater easy sunshine stabs thru',

but cutting cuts us in two

further apart into lonely isolation, a precipice of bruises



he sighs and watches feet upon the ground

the very grass where i now stand,

daydreams break to the first gushing tear

the heavens gape open in here

washing the sky clean



noise stifled trees offer respite

alders, ash shaded corners abound with night,

chasing dogs bark sodden by quick wet voltages

rain spreading mercury empires

tattooing drops across leaves and sprawling

dirty diamonds onto mud floors



he waits under leaf rich balconies

patient for the end to be



thunder reaches

tenor zenith



raucous trains gleam

windows guillotine flashing



and the snake from each pocket glides,

the roaring metropolis overwhelms

with it's mausoleum smoke and concrete foes

he small, insignificant by comparison

one shadow, one person stands lone

waiting for each ending to come

waiting for perfection this ugly afternoon



a smile to burst the gloom's mind

to make this all so worthwhile,

footsteps walk near

come take me here

and push your mouth into mine



the figure oblivious

too beautiful to stare

i wish you disposable

i'd throw you away!

am i invisible?

did you not notice my eyes

all fire tongues and sheer wanting sparks

glancing off each burning eyelid?



i could have been that leaf fallen at your feet

would you even acknowledge me there sprawled

already yours

an angel reopen for you to make bleed



rejects crawl as dusk falls

veils for the hideous to hide,

unend wanton possession, stinging

forcing it's sticky body in, trembling

drenched with the fly stained sweat kindling brings

this world of his, prettier if this love did not exist



from soft dialogues and interference

hungered streets, the skin that everybody wants

but never rents



harsh glares barb wire expressions,

traffic pumps frustration

the graffiti upon someone's sneer,

the pickpocket stealing mended hearts

to make visible their sores



we only spiral into each other's deliberate pain

unending,

those who are strong and defiant will their muscles on,

those who are less sink the pavement cracks

with no trace or evidence of ever being kissed



it's time to die, to un-kinder, to un-flicker

to wrench apart what clasping made us whole,

now is neither the moment

to reason, ponder or ask why?



time to touch the sun

time to relinquish all that was bound

un-entwine , unravel, unwind,

into darkness softer than petals

spill a lifetime



beautiful for hurt




neon lit harshness and alien smudged

against disinterested kite shaped skies

bleak as a miser's spendthrift heart,

cold uneven splash grey intrudes, stained

like morning unwelcome into a drunkard's bloodshot eyes



cancerous light coughed from chimney blackened throats

shimmer unwanted life thru' cracks in moth chewed rooms

like dowdy fireflies in dead circles swoon

he sits hunched and shoulders over into gloom

sort of pearl eyed and impatient for his belly to burst



stares first to the ceiling then swims his vision aimless

to the floor, the carpet where butterflies blurred

and his mouth wished

and where they rolled and pushed and drank until their thirst,

moon squeezed potions smell of angelic cuts persist

majestic skin un-denying senses began to curve

in all out stickiness

and rose like stirred waves dashing inwards

to drown him



wafts within brittle breezes and finally

succumbs to it's overwhelming

he hits his face to be this awake

to be lucid enough to gush fragrant stars,

a bridge of pearls sways upon every gleam

stretching like a ghostly frozen finger from him

into his petal infused heart



inside aching and suddenly broken

slowly rots buts always to it's breath edge

walk where razors want you to fall



forgotten and timeless

one more step into ghost flesh

one more step to be frozen



sprawled, thorned upon that very floor

he now soberly stares upon,

clock grimacing interferes both solitude and unerring silence



he had soared his furious senses, dived like

out of control kites, and there like twisting things twist

made moan of limbs

wiped moonbeams from the brow

only to ignite,

and crooned like frogs inspired from a thousand

ripe swamps, such cries eclipse cricket hum,

spellbound and so resounding choked with holes



"i am more than open"



"i am awaiting the forest's dewdrop fire"



"too beautiful to make words known from their

burials"



"i am opened by dishonesty and

well oiled hurt"



let your roots bury their slender occasion

in me deeply so their poison factories pollute



the sound silence excruciating

like a heart well nailed

it's emptiness fills the entire room

of disused fingerprints



he it's hollowest place



hopelessness swarms

and into a light bulb glare

cries beautifully slain

but there is no one to hear



bag of webs




i know not what i want

i so much want to be something

i never know what

or how much further should i think into thought,

to be this, to be that

to be her or him, a dress, a bag of webs

a suit of disowned flesh



i yearn and yearn, and inside this craving

i neither become someone or anything,

my everything is complete un-happening



lips spilt spent words

begging to be touched, or hit or sucked

blow upon the eyelid fasteners sewn with dust

and away with these years caress,

and thru' grey hanging listless limbo

slide from my face to hide disguises

to show what i could have been



so transparent so see thru' yet eclipsed

do you see into me trickery, treachery, dishonesty?

i have become silent made storms and dreadful skin

shivering into pieces if you said no,

piece them together, make of me what you will,

closer chills ripple like someone's frozen fingers

or needles or cold restraining clothes,

i search and search and finally find

the reasons why i've shown myself open

there and everywhere the scars love shimmers

it coalesces hurt



i could stupefy and stupidly love to feel more

for more is what i need is want, the need is more

than anything is what i shall become

old in the cracks and creaks of shuttered lenses

he'll turn away disgusted,

i always blink shut when too closely touched, we once

glowed, do you picture the pictures that i starred in

upon the screens of skin?

i flew into your hopeless heart and made it mine, i pinned wishes

upon reappearing bruises

not once we sublimed or froze the the bud mid bloom



you never do see do you?

i displayed my thoughts upon my face

for you to reflect, but all now is frantic cobwebs,

i've cried my only tears for you to collect

should i and you be what should have been

i always hope, and it leaves me sickened

and senseless, reeling stupid and more sickly bright-lit-dazed,

i spin and spin and when i've spun your body upon mine

i kiss and kiss , and when kissed i lick and pull and

drink, hungrily to eat it's hurt, it pulls us

from each other's arms, unties precious moments we made

in your thighs, and loosens them into shards,

and when the last click of mind runs cold, i alone upon the

floor twitch and try to reel back opaque uneasy films to

re-enact all that might have been



the sky be brightest over the mind's chameleon architecture

twisting so hard to be this upright,

each thread woven is to tangle

whatever dream i think you in

to rediscover the many ways to bag another web



oh thread of my entire thought

you'll never unravel



drug




i only smile when it's time to pierce into

someone else's strangest kiss, i only try

when the heat is warmest, and once in

your veins enlarge my lips, the rushing

joyous surging blood quenches neither

love nor this dry thirst, red in it's soft tar it

creaks my eager joints to quickly push,

and push, and push, i burst thru' eyes

and lick your sticky tears, why do you

cry vertical rainfall inside? and quietly like

tearing i smile, it's time to break apart,

enough of this sad taste, enough of

this heart, i feel sick of your drug,

i climb out and hit the sky until

i again smile, i feel it's grin, welling

like eager clowns, thorns upon their hands

here i spiral and roller coaster down

into another jaded jerked friend

until you gently cry like unresolved rain

still i crave until i finally break

all shattered fragments

i eat pieces and push your fleshy

bones into my head, the belly purrs

upon legs and leather like flesh,

upon my insides feel you stir

your fingers, your nails point until

hurt imprints upon nerves,

it's time i ate that brilliant smile

and snuff out the un-worthwhile

gorgeous mire, it's taint and stuck on stain

the stain i remember you by,

bitter rhythms and

drowsy drugged heads urge on

and on and on, it's time to

re-smile again



a nightshade promise




what dark is mine

and where the black season sprawls

your dead mind

shall be winter mine



what is grey

shall shadow turn

into the everlasting embrace

the cracked hidden face

and the smile of smoke

i beguiled



in fallow emptiest field

frail twisted love reeled

hollow upon it's tear filled trenches

scared that it's fingers will let go



and the scarecrow of autumn's mourn

grins ghastly reaper guillotine teeth,

and it's bramble hands long to hold

whatever it cannot feel to be it's own



what is failing, fading shallow breathing

shall eventually tumble south

silenced by swallows, and from

it's mouth gushed red

his kiss does slip over us



i in chilled quiet bury you

in see thru' leaves

a tiny thousand eloquent skeletons

emblems that herald autumn's end



i do not feel he coo's

i never will love you,

and within dusk

tears make their shapes known

like sharp internal swords



what was held falls

and what we have become

impossible



i midnight kiss nettle stings

and in it's painful promise

lies across honey less

a frost eclipsed



upon deep blue'd pools i long

to float on and on



and here we stand on fragments

of broken wings

thru' eyes so butterfly brittle

stared sadness thru'



the slow hours i do watch

their amber burn

quietly raining, silence returns



what is dark shall undoubtedly be mine

come drink my edgeless sighs

come and sleep within my tireless flesh



sunbeams fail when night is roused,

in empty daffodil copse

i am dead again

waiting for you my long slender thorn

to have me impaled upon



shine




were it not for words how would your grey mouth convey the wealth of love i know you keep

in brooding coffers below that half dusk of a smile? would you with fingers talk and meander

with masculine intimacy, or wait awhile, one thousand sighs until our eyes catch alight? the

dawning flames lick the roof of god, his earthly spins on disembodied axis, our bodies always

held close, you and i under watchful repeating suns, shine golden in each other's blazing eyes

you my world, i'll stand the darkest edge of the fearful universe, or lonely be in darkest

abyss, to know the other side of blackest morrow you'll be there arms outstretched grasping

me hold brighter in the bleakest day when man rots the world into lazy decay, we shine, so

unlike the bruises gashed into the satellite crowded sky, more than heaven or indeed hell i

would take you by these hands and throw us over into horizon's calm, were it not for life that


babbles along youthful streams or thru' sibling trees, our veins hot with breathing, i would

un-open windows that see us both unclothed and next to the ground, could we ever forsake

shimmering mirroring us whole fractures and all, never to be parted, and when night creeps

stealth ghost giving spiders the cloth of the world is spilt into unseeing boxes, the light i

know shines never diminishes, should we depart from one another i dare not think, and tho'

the fickle may rule the head, the heart is boundless uncontrollable fields drunk upon wine

and blood giving ruby pumps, we slip the still waters oblivious, and when the weary finally

sink up to their eyes, and when the addict's filthy veins cry out for love, when the old and

dead dwellers become dust blown by cobalt social winds, and the divorced pluck each other's

souls clean, when hate is kept proud loosing all it's demons for those to command,

unfortunate clouds gather like ill fitted fashions, wear your sickness high and loud, do we

peer to where spires are immersed in blue? do we share each saint's clean gleaming purified

blood or this cobweb kingdom that boasts disintegration? do we eat the body we worship? do

we defile nature's own virus? do we perpetrate the spawn that grotesques beauty? we lie

with foul monsters grey wombs did churn and make, and from that void we did first rape,

and from that blackened orifice a galaxy sharpened with constellations, we stare forever

searching the shadows for home, where are you now when i yearn most? i shine, for how

long? neither heart denying mind cares to know



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